the internet is just a tool

Hell is other commenters

Via Dan’s Data, check out this article, in which the author explains what foods are most compatible with “The Secret”, Oprah’s made-up religion for turning dumb luck into an intentional act. Aspartame is right out, as is caffeine: “the onslaught of daily stimulants leaves the body depleted of energy, unable to reach the level of vibration necessary to effectively broadcast intention to the universe.” Clearly.

Also, the author is quick to point out that native cultures around the world use drugs as powerful spiritual aids, that our, like, Western culture just doesn’t uderstand or can’t accept or something. However, the drugs that people actually like to use once they’ve got indoor plumbing are very bad for magically turning your crude drawing of a winning lottery ticket into that above-ground pool you’ve been hankering for. I know, it’s a drag. On the upside, you should feel free to eat all the microalgae you want.

Yes, this is just another moron making things up on the internet. Hell, I do it all the time. Look, here I go: “Python’s a dying language.” There, I said it. Soon Google will pick it up and it will be officially true. This process is called epistemology, and it’s the foundation of our modern society.

But scroll down. There are dozens of comments on the article, all of them deeply depressing. “Dear Crackpot,” they say, “Normally I enjoy your articles where you make things up that support my unscientific worldview. But this time the made up things contradicted some aspects of my elaborate system of dietetic make-believe! Please correct this at your earliest convenience.”

The internet was supposed to make things better. Sure, it seemed likely to make us dumber along the way. But this much dumber?

Redemption

As misanthropy-inducing as the above is, there’s reason for hope. Have a look at this. The collective intelligence of the network has been harnessed to identify a blurry book on a coffee table in an episode of The Hills. This is what it’s all about. Somewhere, tears of joy are streaming down Tim Berners-Lee’s face.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 14th, 2007 at 11:14 am and is filed under misc. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.